What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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