I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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