I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
