so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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