there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
