So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
