he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
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