I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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