She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
It was like getting head from an anaconda
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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