I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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