oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
