Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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