If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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