How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
