But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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