is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
