It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
