hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
