I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
