A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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