On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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