I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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