i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
