Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
