...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
