Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Randomize
