I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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