Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Im part way to drunk.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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