My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
you made out with another girl for some wings
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
