Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
