Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
