haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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