I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
