I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
