You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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