school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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