I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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