I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
