actually, I'm a sock model
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
