im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Success! We fucked roommates!
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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