he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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