am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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