I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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