Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
