If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
