you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
