My hair reeks of homosexuality.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
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