And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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