Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
