I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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