You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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